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Ah, dearie, dearie me. You set yourself up in business, trying to do something really useful, for a modest fee, and people just snipe at you.

Maud Newton had a go at the Booksurge publishing package, which includes an offer to get your book read and reviewed by a New York Times bestselling author -- a review which, you are promised, will yield a quote for your cover, and all for a mere $399. And what does Maud do? She makes snide remarks about it.

'Cost for someone to come over to your house, stand behind your desk chair, and press your fingertips to the keyboard to form words: negotiable,' says Maud. And she adds: 'Ass-wiping services not included.'

Now that's quite unnecessary, Maud. Go wash your mouth out, this instant.

Speaking for myself, I have often wondered, as I sit there, open-mouthed, re-reading the warm-hearted encomium which is splashed all over the cover of a book which I have just found to be unreadable, what the going rate for the job is. And now we know.